But when seven in 10 believe this is bad for society, it makes you wonder. Fatherless boys suffer from anger issues or depression. Young white men from single-parent families, for instance, are more likely to end up in prison than young Black men from intact, two-parent homes. Across all income levels, single mothers are the group more likely to lack health insurance but the uninsured rates among single mothers have fallen in recent years thanks to Obamacare. "He credits her with impressing upon him the importance upon one's duty to others perhaps that the best thing that one can do is to give opportunities for others," Scott tells Fresh Air's Terry Gross. Today the number has dropped to 59 percent. I certainly do feel different, you know, a little bit out of the norm at school when I'm dropping him off or, you know, just among parents at play dates and things like that. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Some married two-parent households include a step-parent. You can be both, President Trump. You can also join the conversation on our website. By the time her son is a toddler, his fathers smile is fading and soon he is missing entirely. Each week, we send out a newsletter containing the news and headlines that matter most to parents. Consequently, an intensely negative parent relationship can do far more damage than a missing parent. Take An Interactive Quiz On Changing Family Structures. I got it. Binyamin Appelbaum spoke to Professor Autor for The Timess Business Day section (Study of Mens Falling Income Cites Single Parents). When President Lyndon Johnson launched the War on Poverty in 1963, 93 percent of American children were born to married parents. CONAN: Mary Pols is a journalist who reviews books and movies for Time magazine, also a single mother. When I asked why, her answer was straight to the point: Soon Mr. Sanford and other adults in the room were choking back tears. The earthy figure in the photograph did not fit any of those. High conflict levels at home inherently cause the greatest damage to childrens wellbeing. Single mothers often spend over half of their income on housing expenses and a third on child care, leaving them with less money for educational expenses. Yet, they were quick to identify men in their lives that stepped in as father figures. Worse, simplistic statistics can feed unfound prejudice and fear. Mr. MORAN: It really was fascinating to us to see that sharp division because you're right, skeptics account for about four in 10 Americans. And, you know, for me, I'm sort of I'm in the middle of movie screening. Alan's with us from Fulton, New York. It was truly a blessing to have been in the room with each of them, they spoke and I listened. And - but when I went back six months later, I did. ALAN: More disbelief, I think, or wonder, you know. President Barack Obama was raised by his mother, Stanley Ann Dunham, from the time that he was born until he was 4 years old, when she married Lolo Soetoro. | Will Democrats and Big Tech ever apologize? And I kept asking the parents, and I knew that they were, you know, they were very religious people, and I felt that when I had explained my situation to them, they had looked somewhat askance on me. 800-989-8255 is the phone number. Her memoir is titled "Accidentally On Purpose: The True Tale of a Happy Single Mother," and she joins us today from Maine Public Broadcasting Network in Portland, Maine. They gave me a bag lunch and little help. Like Biden and Harris, we all know the courage that grows from loss, whether it's the loss of our spouse through death or divorce, the loss of living with one parent, or the loss of a dream of having a child with someone you love. Four years later, Obama moved back to Hawaii to live with his grandparents while his mother stayed in Indonesia with her second husband and daughter Maya Soetoro-Ng. In some cases, a non-marital partner may also be a biological or adoptive parent of the minor child in the household. They move through parenting tasks with a passion and commitment to rarely seen in men. Ms. McWilliams suddenly finds herself unwittingly thrust into the world of single moms. He had the studied casualness of a catalog model, in khakis, at home in the viewfinder. She is corn-fed, white-bread, whatever Kenya is not. (primarily single mothers). The history of the United States is filled with stories of single mothers raising successful men. Well, how did you do that? I drove across the Flint Hills of Kansas to the former oil boomtowns where her parents grew up during the Depression. Catch up on any essays, posts and I was widowed when my children were in elementary school. You know, I think the system, our laws, our schools, our judges, are prejudiced against single mothers. This month, for instance, The Harvard Gazette ran an article entitled, Why living in a two-parent home isnt a cure-all for Black students. Written by Harvard sociologist Christina Cross, it spotlights her research showing that poor Black kids with two parents do not do better on a few educational outcomes compared to their peers with single parents. A Complete Timeline Of Kate Beckinsale And Pete Davidson's Relationship, The Greatest Actresses Who Have Never Won an Oscar (for Acting), American Public Figures Who Are National Treasures, The Greatest Actors & Actresses in Entertainment History, Actors Who Somehow Looked Older In The '90s Than They Do Now, Jon Stewart's Most Entertaining Feuds Ever, The Most Influential Contemporary Americans. Obama said yes, and in 1995, his book Dreams from My Father was published. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Numbers, Facts and Trends Shaping Your World, a marked increase in the share of non-marital births, The Rising Age Gap in Economic Well-Being, Single Fathers are Younger, Less Educated, A majority of young adults in the U.S. live with their parents for the first time since the Great Depression, As Millennials Near 40, Theyre Approaching Family Life Differently Than Previous Generations, As family structures change in U.S., a growing share of Americans say it makes no difference. The same pattern is reflected in poverty status across these household types. In 1990, about 498,000 single fathers were cohabiting (39% of single father households), and in 2011 that number had more than doubled to 1.1 million. Nationally the annual cost of center-based infant care averaged over 40% of the state median income for a single mother. Mr. MORAN: Basically, we surveyed nearly 3,000 Americans, and we wanted to test what people really thought the consequences of some of the bigger demographic trends that have reshaped the American family in the last 30 or 40 years are. From Lynn(ph): I'm lucky in that I'm an older mom, 40 when I had my son. CONAN: Let's see if we can get Alan(ph) on the line. She works for Time magazine, and she joined us from Maine Public Broadcasting Network in Portland. And there was part of me that thought: Well, this is an extraordinarily improper conversation. But they draw a line in the sand when it comes to single motherhood. Im Neal Conan in Washington. 7 Among those who were laid off or looking for work, less than a quarter (22.4%) received unemployment benefits. And as you know, studies suggest the children pay the price. In raw and unscripted interviews, each man opens his heart, sheds tears about his mothers struggle, and expresses how his mother remains a constant source of inspiration. Single fathers, on average, have higher incomes than single mothers and are far less likely to be living at or below the poverty line24% versus 43%. NPR's Tom Gjelten will join us with the latest, plus we'll wrap up our series on Oscar-nominated documentaries with Josh Fox, director of "Gasland." I met with bankers in glass towers in Jakarta where, nearly two decades before Muhammad Yunus and Grameen Bank shared the Nobel Peace Prize for their work with microcredit, Dunham worked on the largest self-sustaining commercial microfinance program in the world. Compared with fathers heading households with two married parents, single dads are younger, less educated, less financially well-off and less likely to be white. Ms. POLS: Well, you know, I've had - I'm sort of a little bit of a freak of a single mother in that I feel like even economically, my life has actually gotten better as a single mother. "And her work in many ways foreshadows his. In the beginning, particularly because of speaking to so many people about President Obama's mother's life, and of course that covered his birth, I really had no question as to where he was born. And so we included things, as you mentioned: gay couples raising children, women deciding not to have children and single mothers raising children on their own without a male partner. I traveled twice to Indonesia, where she brought her son, at six, and from whence she sent him back, alone, at age ten, to her parents in Hawaii. And while 22% of fathers with no spouse or partner have a bachelors degree or more, the share of cohabiting fathers with this level of education is less than half that (10%). Some of these celebs'fathers passed away, while others simply left their families. It is not possible to determine if these single fathers have full-time or part-time custody of their children using Census or American Community Survey data. How do people treat you? 3. I am stronger and I - exactly, I am empowered. We all know heartbreak, the fear of becoming sick, or losing our income because our children rely solely on us. Intentionally or not, the label obscures an extraordinary storyof a girl with a boy's name who grew up in the years before the civil rights movement, the women's movement, the Vietnam War, and the Pill; who married an African at a time when nearly two dozen states still had laws against interracial marriage; who, at age twenty-four, moved to Jakarta with her son in the waning days of an anti-communist bloodbath in which hundreds of thousands of Indonesians are believed to have been slaughtered; who lived more than half of her adult life in a place barely known to most Americans, in an ancient and complex culture, in a country with the largest Muslim population in the world; who spent years working in villages where an unmarried, Western woman was a rarity; who immersed herself in the study of a sacred craft long practiced exclusively by men; who, as a working and mostly single mother, brought up two biracial children; who adored her children and believed her son in particular had the potential to be great; who raised him to be, as he has put it jokingly, a combination of Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, and Harry Belafonte, then died at fifty-two, never knowing who or what he would become. Stephen Colbert. CONAN: Well, we want to find out if those attitudes translate into the experiences of single mothers. So I feel like what happened for me as a single mother was basically kind of a continuation of that, and that's not to say that my friends treated me badly by any means but just that it is - it is a little awkward. That's five years before he becomes a community development person in Chicago.". off: They have the highest poverty rate. Single parent households in both the US and England have jumped from less than 10 percent in the 1970s to roughly 30 percent today. She taught us to be conscious and compassionate about the struggles of all people. And, you know, every school that my child has been at has had both of our phone numbers. A year later, he was approached by a literary agent, who asked if he would be interested in writing an autobiography about his life. When they look at the outcomes of single motherhood, you know, they see increase in drop-out rate, increase in poverty and an increase in children who go - who have their first child before 20 without being married. Child care subsidy, if eligible, is hard to come by. They lack the paid-time-off-from-work entitlements that in comparison countries Ironically, the work of another scholar just across the Harvard campus from Cross, Raj Chetty, also refutes the idea that Black fathers dont matter. This share drops to 13% for those living above the poverty line. Wayward Sons, a report on the emerging gender gap in labor markets and education, from Third Way, Sometimes research results are politically incorrect, or even offensive for some of us, and still worth talking about. SHELLY: Of course. I just think that the way that couples socialize tends to be with other couples. On average, 6.8% of children around the world under the age of 18 live in a single parent household. At the same time, the role of fathers has evolved, and the public now acknowledges their importance not only as breadwinners, but also as caregivers. While this family unit is the ideal, many Church members find themselves in a variety of other circumstances, including in single-parent families. Here's an email from Maria(ph): My son is now 19, but I learned pretty quickly from the reactions of others that my pregnancy was not a happy occasion. While about one-fourth (26%) of fathers lacking a high school diploma are single fathers, the share drops to 22% for fathers with a high school degree. And while 60% of those living without a spouse or partner are 40 years or older, this share is only 30% among cohabiters. Obama decided not to return to Indonesia with his mother. Nina Subin/G.P. Other celebs on this list include Christina Aguilera, SeanCombs, Mariah Carey, and AliciaKeys. Mr. MORAN: You know, and that is true, but Sara McLanahan of Princeton did one of the path-breaking studies in the '90s and actually controlled for the education of the parent and found that it didn't make a lot of difference. Single father householders are more likely to be white than single mother householders, but less likely to be white than married father householders. The photograph showed the son, but my eye gravitated toward the mother. This prevalence is due in part to the growing trend of children born outside marriage a societal trend that was virtually unheard of decades ago. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. First and foremost, there has been a marked increase in the share of non-marital births. The prevalence of single fatherhood is closely linked to educational level; the more education a father has, the less likely he is to head a single father household. In fact, it is their history that fuels their determination to honor and love their own sons and daughters even more. make it easier for single parents to balance caregiving and jobholding. To describe Dunham as a white woman from Kansas is about as illuminating as describing her son as a politician who likes golf. NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. From A Singular Woman: The Untold Story of Barack Obama's Mother by Janny Scott. Born: 08-04-1961 Age: 58 Birthplace: Honolulu, Hawaii, USA More Barack Obama The Best Songs on Obama's POTUS Playlist #211 of 347 on The Most Important Leaders In World History #262 of 345 on So - but for me, it's been a very good and very positive experience, and, you know, I read something like this Pew study, and I think, as do I think a lot of my single-mother friends: Oh, that's so annoying. Moammar Gadhafi told Libyan state television today that the protesters - many of them young people -are motivated by hallucinogens supplied by al-Qaida. Some women choose to raise children by themselves. . Sean Grover, L.C.S.W., is an author and psychotherapist who leads one of the largest group therapy practices in the United States. I said no, he doesn't have a father. Is there some ostracism? There was a period in 1979 where she was working in what her boss described to me as 'community development in Java.' CONAN: Did the same results obtain if you said: What if they're raised by a single father? Does this conversation about women raising children alone resonate with you? Some women are single parents through divorceor separation or. American single parents also work more hours for less pay not a circumstance conducive to raising young children. Only one third of single mothers received any child support, and the average amount these mothers received was only about $286 a month. Whatever the reason, raising a child on ones own is hard but becoming more socially acceptable, reflected in evolving attitudes and demographics. 2 Today 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 a total of about 13 million are being raised without a father. If a single mother is able to work, her earning power still lags significantly compared with men's . That compassion doesnt come from a place of privilege, but rather one of internal resilience built from challenges. More than two in five (43%) lived in poverty. We as a society can do better for children raised by single mothers and for families headed by single parents in general. Statistics have their place in our society, but at the same time, they are broad strokes and not based on an individual case. How do people treat you? Households led by a female householder with no spouse present with own children under 18 years living in the household. than boys raised in single-parent households. Most notably, households headed by single fathers appear to be much better off financially when compared with those headed by single mothers. There are some notable differences between single mothers and single fathers. I mean, some of their husbands have passed away. Families headed by single mothers are among the poorest households, more than a third lived in poverty, and as such, are extremely vulnerable to homelessness. ", "The birther movement began during the campaign, when I was actually writing a series of biographical pieces for The New York Times on then-Senator Obama. Especially during the pandemic, I have had to find new reserves of strength. The biggest factor? (Pew Research, 2019) The second highest country with the most children in single parent households is the UK (21%), followed by Russia (18%), and Sao Tome and Principe (19%). Others find themselves without a partner through divorce or abandonment. Director Daphne McWilliams bravely explores the health and hardiness of men raised by single mothers. I'm actually not a single mother, but I represent juveniles accused of crime in the juvenile justice system. CONAN: And I wonder: Do you see these attitudes portrayed amongst the people in your life? We're talking with Mary Pols, who's the author of "Accidentally On Purpose: The True Tale Of A Happy Single Mother." The focus on men and boys shouldnt distract from a larger problem: single mothers and their daughters may be doing better, but they cant be said to be thriving. In my 22 years of leading therapy groups, Ive discovered that men and teenage boys raised by single mothers are frequently more sensitive to the feelings and needs of others, and more mindful in relationships with women. Everyone agrees, or most everyone, that the best possible situation is a loving mother and father raising a child. In 1966, Dunham married Lolo Soetoro, an Indonesian man studying in Honolulu on a student visa. And for me, it's like: Wow, here I am latching on to "Toy Story" as an example of a single mother celebrated in culture by doing a good job with her kids. Men who grew up without fathers can be outstanding parents. Cross article echoed themes from an earlier article, The Myth of the Two-Parent Home, that she published in The New York Times that claimed living apart from a biological parent does not carry the same cost for black youths as for their white peers.. My reason was that I know how hard it is to be the sole economic and nurturing support and that our society does so little help. A new Pew Research poll found that among all those possible configurations, moms raising kids on their own are considered bad for society. I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I don't know what the answer would have been had we asked about single fathers. The authoritative record of NPRs programming is the audio record. Obama Sr. stayed in school in Hawaii, and Dunham returned to Seattle with her newborn baby, Barack. CONAN: Rich Moran is of the Pew Research, and you can find a link to his survey and find a link to that poll at our website, at npr.org. It was one in a series of biographical articles on then Senator Obama that the Times published during the presidential campaign. Biden and Harris openness about these family influences has also given power to a job that is often stigmatized by Republicans. . But the evidence, when viewed objectively, points strongly to the value of two-parent households., Jason Sattler:What a new dad learned in COVID lockdown about politics, responsibility and 'women's work'. Of course, there is a wide array of single mothers. When lives are reduced to numbers on a page, we are in danger of losing touch with our humanity. The issue is the outcomes that come from a child being raised by just one parent. Parallel patterns obtain for girls. I can't come, you know, have his dad do something about it. I want to be a better father, a better husband, a better man. No one could doubt that President Obama understood how much fathers mattered for their kids. The former president of the United States was raised by his single mother. And it - the sort of demonization or marginalization happens not only to the mothers, but to the children, as well. America. More likely to drop out of school, more likely to develop drug or alcohol problems, more likely to be incarcerated; the bad news goes on and on. Fifty-three percent are solo mothers, who tend to vote Democrat, and the majority are part of the vast millennial generation ranging from age 24to 39. Single mothers earn income that place them well below married mothers in the income ladder. I'm not sure that some of the motivation, negative motivations, played a role in, you know, in these judgments. To all parents: Dont break the bank to send your kids to their dream school, What a new dad learned in COVID lockdown about politics, responsibility and 'women's work', Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. So we want to hear from single mothers today. Equally dramatic differences emerge at the other end of the education spectrum; just 17% of single fathers (and 18% of single mothers) have a bachelors degree, compared with 40% of married fathers. About half (52%) are separated, divorced, widowed or never married and are living without a cohabiting partner; some (41%) are living with a non-marital partner; and a small share (7%) are married but living apart from their spouse.3. He's now a freshman in college. No matter how you cut it ." Kamala Harris has also said that her mother, divorced and single, was her primary role model. Non-Marital births where her parents grew up without fathers can be outstanding parents describe Dunham a. 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